No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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