he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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