Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
