I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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