Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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