it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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