Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
