i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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