we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There's always time for handjobs
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
