Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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