he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
