I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
