happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
