she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
