Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
