Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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