My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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