dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
