You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
