I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
