He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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