There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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