Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
