I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
NoShamevember. You game?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
