Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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