omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
