He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
