ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
This show inspires me to have sex in space
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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