I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm at about main and main street
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
