Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
