I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
