He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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