I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I didn't notice because vodka
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
