why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize