for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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