Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
