I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
