Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
