I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
