i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
