I feel like abortions should bother me more
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
