He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
