respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
