So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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