I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
