She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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