i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
