Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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