I wannas sexs uuuuu
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Less talking, more tequila
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize