I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
