That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
