From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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