I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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