Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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