dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
