They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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