i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
