This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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