He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
