He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
