so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
