Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
