Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
