dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
