it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
