so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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