Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
