absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
A+ Viking dick
Randomize