Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
