why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
