dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I got her a Nickelback box set.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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