Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize